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Dumb Obsolete Laws

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Published: October 10, 2006

Did you know that it is illegal in Chicago to eat in a place that is on fire? Or that you cannot go trick or treating on Halloween or go bowling in Evanston, Illinois? Have you ever wanted to wear your pajamas while fishing in Chicago? You can't, it's illegal. Believe it or not, these are but a few of the many dumb laws that have been made law in the State of Illinois. However, it's not just Illinois who has dumb laws on the books. The entire U.S. has dumb laws in effect.

Continuing with Illinois, the official language of Illinois is "American." Therefore, speaking English is illegal. In the city of Champaign, one cannot urinate in their neighbor's mouth. Eureka forbids moustache-wearing men from kissing women. Normal, Illinois made it illegal to make faces at dogs. For residents or visitors of Zion, forget about giving lit cigars to domesticated animals, that act is illegal as well. It is against the law in Oblong, Illinois to make love on your wedding day while hunting or fishing. Lastly, if you live in Joliet, you must pronounce the town's name correctly. Pronouncing it
"Jolly-ette" is a misdemeanor and a five dollar fine.

In Florida, it is illegal to have sexual relations with a porcupine. It is illegal in Miami for men to wear a strapless gown in public. Furthermore, in Sarasota, it is against the law to sing in public while wearing a swimsuit, people cannot fish while driving across a bridge anywhere in Florida, and it is an offense to shower naked.

The city of Los Angeles, California seems to have a lot of dumb laws in their lawbooks. A man cannot beat his wife with a strap wider than two inches without her consent. Also, crying on the witness stand, toad licking, wearing zoot suits, and bathing two babies in a tub at the same time is all illegal in Los
Angeles.

Detroit, Michigan has their own set of dumb laws. The Motor City prohibits couples from sexual intercourse in a car unless the car is parked on their own property. Loitering in a city morgue, sleeping in a bathtub, smoking in bed, and cursing in front of women and children is illegal as well. Michigan state
laws say that the wife's hair belongs to her husband and she cannot cut her hair without the husband's permission.

Our nation's capitol, the District of Columbia, has only a few dumb laws. They are dumb nevertheless. It is a crime to give false weather reports, begging for money is a protected form of free speech, and small boys cannot throw stones anywhere in the District of Columbia. Finally, the only legal sexual position in D.C. is the Missionary position. All other positions are illegal.

The town of Eureka, Nevada has the same law about kissing women that Eureka, Illinois has. Men who wear moustaches cannot kiss women anywhere in the town of Eureka. In Las Vegas, people will be breaking the law if they pawn their dentures at a pawn shop. Every pedestrian in Elko, Nevada must wear a mask. If you are buying drinks in Nyala, you are only permitted to buy drinks for yourself and three other people.

Dallas, Texas has a law against owning "any realistic looking, phallic shaped, personal massager more than one foot in length." In Texas, it is also illegal to milk another person's cow, driving without windshield wipers (although driving without a windshield is not illegal), shooting buffalo from a second story hotel room, and urinating on The Alamo. People in Houston cannot buy Limburger cheese on Sunday or beer after Midnight on Sunday. Although beer is for sale on Monday in Houston.

Somehow these dumb laws were passed by state legislators. Most of them cannot be enforced. The rest are so outdated that no one would ever commit the crime anyway. Some people would recommend that these dumb laws should be repealed. Others would say simply to leave them alone because there are bigger concerns in the world right now. In the meantime, dumb laws will stay on the books for some time now.











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CrazyLaws. "A Funny List of Dumb Laws in the United States." www.crazylaws.com. Copyright 2006. Crazylaws.com, part of the Bored.com Network. October 6, 2006. http://www.crazylaws.com/


Hayes, Steven J. "Dumb Laws." www.basicjokes.com. Copyright 2004. Steven J. Hayes. Basic Jokes is part of the Basics 4 Life family of sites. October 6, 2006. http://www.basicjokes.com/dtitles.php?cid=540