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Americas Dumbest Criminals
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Published: October 6, 2006
Face it. We've all done stupid things. We're human and mistakes happen. The world of crime is no exception. Criminals do stupid things, resulting in getting caught and sent to jail. When we read a news story about a dumb criminal, we cannot believe how stupid they were. Here are some examples of America's dumbest criminals.
In Kentucky, two men tried to steal an ATM by attaching a chain from the machine to their pickup truck's bumper. Instead of pulling out the cash machine, the truck's bumper was pulled off of the truck, with the license plate attached to the bumper. The scared thieves drove off without the machine or their bumper and were caught–two examples of Kentucky's dumbest criminals.
There were two police stories of stupid thievery in Texas. A man wrote a forged check for $9,600 in damages to avoid going to prison. Also in Texas, a woman was arrested for possession of marijuana. The drugs were found in the engine compartment of her car when she took it in for an oil change. The convicted woman did not realize that the hood had to be opened in order to change the oil. As you can see, Texas' dumbest criminals aren't just men.
In South Carolina a man was arrested at a police station after he complained about the poor cut quality of his cocaine. The man dropped the bag of drugs on the counter and demanded the arrest of the drug dealer who cut the cocaine poorly. South Carolina police didn't have to look very far to apprehend one of their state's dumbest criminals.
There are unknown locations of dumb criminal activity. A man walked into a drug store, pulled out a gun, announced a robbery, and put a bag over his head to use as a face mask. Unfortunately the thief failed to put eye holes in the bag so he could see. A male thief broke into a bank and stole the bank's video surveillance camera. What the robber didn't know was that the camera records from a remote location instead of a blank video tape inside the camera. Therefore the thief was unable to retrieve the video tape itself, he only stole the camera.
Lastly, a man walked into a convenience store and asked the clerk to break a twenty dollar bill. When the clerk opened up the cash register, the thief pulled out a gun and robbed the clerk. After the clerk gave the thief the money from the drawer, the clerk left the store leaving the twenty dollar bill behind. The total amount of money that was in the cash register was fifteen dollars. America's dumbest criminals operate even in unknown locations.
Instead of waiting to read about apprehended dumb criminals in the newspaper, people can watch "America's Dumbest Criminals" on television. Director Steve Angus tells stories of dumb criminals to illustrate "the lighter side of law enforcement." The show description on the Internet Movie Database says, "Video footage collected from police and security cameras demonstrating that most crimes are not perpetrated by evil geniuses. Highlights included crooks who use bags as masks but forget to cut holes for their eyes, burglars who have to call 911 after being trapped in the houses they were robbing, and thieves who try to make a fast getaway only to find they locked their keys in their cars."
It just goes to show that criminals can come in all ages, races, genders, and IQs.
Dawson, Darryl. "Stupid-Criminal Hall of Shame." John Schultheis. September 7, 1997. Schultheis.org. October 5, 2006. http://www.schultheis.org/jms/humor/crimes.html
Pettinger, Richard. "Dumb Criminal Jokes." Richard Pettinger. August 28, 2006. October 5, 2006. http://www.richardpettinger.com/Interests/jokes/du mb-criminals/
Rocher, Jean-Marc. "Plot summary for 'America's Dumbest Criminals." Internet Movie DataBase (IMDB). Copyright 2006. Internet Movie Database, Inc. October 5, 2006. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0211134/
In Kentucky, two men tried to steal an ATM by attaching a chain from the machine to their pickup truck's bumper. Instead of pulling out the cash machine, the truck's bumper was pulled off of the truck, with the license plate attached to the bumper. The scared thieves drove off without the machine or their bumper and were caught–two examples of Kentucky's dumbest criminals.
There were two police stories of stupid thievery in Texas. A man wrote a forged check for $9,600 in damages to avoid going to prison. Also in Texas, a woman was arrested for possession of marijuana. The drugs were found in the engine compartment of her car when she took it in for an oil change. The convicted woman did not realize that the hood had to be opened in order to change the oil. As you can see, Texas' dumbest criminals aren't just men.
In South Carolina a man was arrested at a police station after he complained about the poor cut quality of his cocaine. The man dropped the bag of drugs on the counter and demanded the arrest of the drug dealer who cut the cocaine poorly. South Carolina police didn't have to look very far to apprehend one of their state's dumbest criminals.
There are unknown locations of dumb criminal activity. A man walked into a drug store, pulled out a gun, announced a robbery, and put a bag over his head to use as a face mask. Unfortunately the thief failed to put eye holes in the bag so he could see. A male thief broke into a bank and stole the bank's video surveillance camera. What the robber didn't know was that the camera records from a remote location instead of a blank video tape inside the camera. Therefore the thief was unable to retrieve the video tape itself, he only stole the camera.
Lastly, a man walked into a convenience store and asked the clerk to break a twenty dollar bill. When the clerk opened up the cash register, the thief pulled out a gun and robbed the clerk. After the clerk gave the thief the money from the drawer, the clerk left the store leaving the twenty dollar bill behind. The total amount of money that was in the cash register was fifteen dollars. America's dumbest criminals operate even in unknown locations.
Instead of waiting to read about apprehended dumb criminals in the newspaper, people can watch "America's Dumbest Criminals" on television. Director Steve Angus tells stories of dumb criminals to illustrate "the lighter side of law enforcement." The show description on the Internet Movie Database says, "Video footage collected from police and security cameras demonstrating that most crimes are not perpetrated by evil geniuses. Highlights included crooks who use bags as masks but forget to cut holes for their eyes, burglars who have to call 911 after being trapped in the houses they were robbing, and thieves who try to make a fast getaway only to find they locked their keys in their cars."
It just goes to show that criminals can come in all ages, races, genders, and IQs.
Dawson, Darryl. "Stupid-Criminal Hall of Shame." John Schultheis. September 7, 1997. Schultheis.org. October 5, 2006. http://www.schultheis.org/jms/humor/crimes.html
Pettinger, Richard. "Dumb Criminal Jokes." Richard Pettinger. August 28, 2006. October 5, 2006. http://www.richardpettinger.com/Interests/jokes/du mb-criminals/
Rocher, Jean-Marc. "Plot summary for 'America's Dumbest Criminals." Internet Movie DataBase (IMDB). Copyright 2006. Internet Movie Database, Inc. October 5, 2006. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0211134/
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